


a beacon in the night

by Gohandinhand



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 20:43:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17190065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gohandinhand/pseuds/Gohandinhand
Summary: “Well first off, that’s Papa Noel, not Santa.” Stacie points to the familiar red-clad figure perched on top of a large boat, eight alligators harnessed to the front of it. “The boat and the gators fly, at least now. I think they started off coming by water but it mixed with the reindeer story a bit. The gators all have names, of course: Tiboy, Suzette, Rene, Ninette, Pierre, Alcee, Celeste, and Gaston. You can see Gaston has a magic green nose because it's often so foggy here that I guess they needed a fog light."or, the one where Aubrey learns about New Orleans Christmas traditions





	a beacon in the night

**Author's Note:**

> is anyone still up for a christmas fic two days after christmas?
> 
> I hope so, because this is a long one. buckle in, folks.

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?”

“I don’t care what the chore wheel says, I made dinner so Em gets dish duty.”

Stacie doesn’t look up from her computer and Aubrey huffs, pushing the headphones down off her ears. She ignores Stacie’s affronted yelp and looms over her, one eyebrow arched until Stacie snaps.

“Hi Aubrey, how are you?” Stacie says sarcastically. “I’m busy, what do you want?”

Stacie had specifically asked not to be disturbed while trying to salvage the latest phase of research for her master’s thesis, although she knows a movie night is supposed to be starting downstairs shortly. Stacie is firmly in the “ _Die Hard_ is not a Christmas movie” camp, although it will serve ably to distract her younger, less swamped with coursework, housemates for the evening.

Clearly, it’s not enough to divert Aubrey’s single-minded focus.

“I saw the Christmas display in the front yard,” Aubrey snaps and Stacie’s brow furrows in confusion, prompts Aubrey to continue. “Emily filled me in on your lessons for the baby Bellas about “true” Southern Christmas traditions.”

“You seem angry but I still have no idea how that relates to Christmas decorations,” Stacie says when it’s clear that Aubrey has no intention to continue.

“You convinced them that southerners think Santa travels in a boat pulled by alligators, Stacie!” Aubrey all but shrieks. “You went too far with this joke, this house is going to be the laughing stock of the entire neighborhood. Get downstairs, confess to the girls that you were fucking with them, and get it cleaned up,” Aubrey ends on a growl.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Stacie comes up out of her chair, stands her ground just inches from Aubrey’s face. “I didn’t make anything up, Aubrey. Jesus.” Aubrey’s glare doesn’t change and Stacie grits her teeth, feels her temper flaring. “Just because it’s different from your sanitized, whitebread version of Christmas doesn’t mean it’s not real. You think you’re an expert? You’re from _Virginia_ , Aubrey. Welcome to the actual south.”

Aubrey rolls her eyes and scoffs.

“Real original, I've never heard that one before. Get some new material.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t prepared for you to burst in out of the blue and start yelling at me about Santa! I’ll be more prepared in the future!” Stacie hears how shrill her voice is and downstairs, a faint voice calls out “they’re arguing again!” She takes a deep breath and sinks back into her desk chair. “Frankly, Aubrey, it’s been a _long_ time since you were in charge and as you no longer live here, your opinion is not exactly relevant. But for the record, this is the version of Santa I grew up with.”

Stacie props her elbows on her desk and sighs, dropping her head into her hands to rub at her aching temples. She doesn’t hear Aubrey leave the room, but when she looks up, she’s alone.

 

* * *

 

A few days later, Stacie’s pulled out of her work again, this time by a gentle knock on her partially open door. She glances up, blinks hard a few times before grabbing her glasses off the desk and jamming them on her face.

“Aubrey?

“May I come in?” Aubrey’s being polite, almost overly so. Stacie nods, pushes her glasses out of the way to rub her eyes again and Aubrey quirks a little smile. “How long have you been staring at that screen?” Aubrey jokes, her smile dropping when Stacie simply grimaces in response.

“I don’t even know,” she sighs. “Too long. I have so much to do before I head home for Christmas. What’s up? You don't usually stop by this often,” Stacie realizes.

Aubrey’s posture straightens, Stacie subconsciously shifting to match it as she turns to face her. “I’ve come to apologize,” Aubrey says, carefully formal, not reacting when Stacie feels her eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

They stare expectantly at each other for a few moments, the silence weighted, and then Stacie smirks.

“For what?”

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that. Or taken my bad day out on you.” A sad smile lifts the corner of Aubrey’s mouth and fades away as quickly as it appeared. “Chloe and Google both backed you up, and I was an ass, so... I made you apology cookies,” she says, awkwardly holding up the tray in her hands Stacie hadn’t noticed before.

Stacie moves quickly, pushing the pile of papers on her desk out of the way and motions for Aubrey set it down there. Before it’s even out of her hands Stacie snatches a cookie, shoving it into her mouth.

“Oh my god, they’re still warm,” she moans through her full mouth.

Aubrey’s nose wrinkles at the spray of crumbs, but Stacie immediately goes for another cookie and crams it in with the first.

“You’re welcome,” she teases, waits as Stacie mumbles a reply and then waves her hand to pause the conversation for a moment.

“Sorry. Thanks, I haven’t eaten in like twenty hours,” Stacie explains after a few laborious swallows has cleared her mouth. “Apology accepted if you tell me why you were having a bad day.”

“What?” Aubrey blinks, clearly thrown.

“You said you took your bad day out on me.”

“Oh,” Aubrey’s shoulders shrug a bit. “My parents informed me they have decided to spend Christmas in Naples.”

“Wait, like, Italy?”

“My brother is stationed there,” Aubrey says as explanation, and Stacie hums in understanding as she does some quick mental math. “They only informed you of this a _week_ before Christmas? I’m sure booking a flight was no big deal,” she says sarcastically.

Aubrey shrugs again, trying too hard to be casual about the discussion.

“I’m not going, actually. I’m in the middle of a huge case, I can’t be away for any real length of time. Norfolk was doable, but Naples is practically a day of travel time in each direction. My dad pointed out that I can’t possibly justify it…”

  
Stacie is simultaneously horrified and enraged on Aubrey’s behalf. She sputters for a moment, catches herself from clarifying that Aubrey had been all but disinvited from Christmas when it’s clear that is the last thing she needs to hear right now.

“Well, come home with me then,” she blurts out and Aubrey lets out a baffled laugh.

“What?”

“Really! It’s even closer than Norfolk, and I’m sure we have room for one more. I’m only going down for a few days. Why not?”

Aubrey realizes Stacie is being serious, her jaw dropping.

“Um, I can think of a lot of reasons why not!” Aubrey protests. “We barely know each other, for one.”

“That’s not true,” Stacie protests. “We’ve been friends for like, five years!”

“I guess technically, but we were barely friends before I left for law school and then we didn’t see or talk to each other for four years. And now when we do we usually end up fighting,” Aubrey points out reluctantly. “And you can’t invite me to your parent’s house without even checking to see if they’re okay with it!”

“Even if that’s true - and I’m not admitting it is - is spending Christmas alone in your condo really more palatable than spending it with me?” Stacie asks archly. “We always bring home strays, I’m sure someone else is dragging one home too.” She ignores Aubrey’s offended glare and shrugs. “I’ll text my mom and double check if it will make you feel better, though.”

“Of course it will!”

“So you’re agreeing, then? If I get the okay?” Stacie grins and pulls out her phone, starts poking at it.

“I don’t have Christmas presents for your family,” Aubrey tries next and Stacie waves it away.

“We never do much for presents, our other traditions are much more important. Nobody will notice or care. Actually, a batch of these would be more than enough,” Stacie pops another cookie into her mouth and grins at Aubrey again with her mouth full.

“Ugh, fine,” Aubrey surrenders. “ _If_ your parents are okay with it, I’ll go with you.”

“Cool,” Stacie holds her phone up in triumphantly. “Mom says ‘of course it’s fine’ so you better get home and get packin’. I’ll pick you up tomorrow around suppertime.”

 

* * *

 

“So, how many people are going to be in the house?” Aubrey tries her best to project curiosity, not clue Stacie in on how her nerves are actually bubbling beneath the surface.

“Well, my parents, obviously,” Stacie taps the wheel with a finger as she thinks. “Addie, my older sister, and her husband Chris will be around, but they’ll be staying in their own house, obviously. And then the twins will be home too, obviously.” Stacie frowns in thought. “But I don’t know if they’re bringing anyone else, that may be it for this year.”

“ _That’s_ it?” Aubrey says. “You have three siblings? How am I just finding this out?”

The question is rhetorical, but Stacie shrugs anyway.

“I didn’t know until yesterday you have a brother,” Stacie points out. “You weren’t around when I graduated college, but I was for yours and I don’t remember meeting him.”

“That’s because you didn’t. He wasn’t able to make it,” Aubrey says and half hopes that Stacie will drop it even though she knows she won’t.

“Why not?” Stacie seems flabbergasted. “I’m going to be flying out for Beau and Ellie’s graduation in May even though I can only stay for like, 30 hours!”

Aubrey sighs, giving in to the interrogation.

“Hayes is eight years older than me,” she starts. “He followed dad into the military, as expected. He was deployed a few months before I graduated. They don’t give leave for things like that,” she explains with a wry smile.

“But he’s not deployed now, since he’s stationed in Italy?” Stacie checks her understanding, waits for Aubrey’s murmur of assent before continuing. “So he came to New York for your law school graduation, right?”

Stacie’s repeated glances at her grow longer and longer as silence settles between them until Aubrey finally snaps at her to keep her eyes on the road.

“No,” she finally says. She’d intended it to come out sharp, as a signal to Stacie that she was done with the conversation, but misses the mark. She cringes at her hushed reply and clears her throat, firms her tone. “No, he didn’t.”

Stacie must note how rattled Aubrey is and lets the conversation die there and it only takes a few minutes for Aubrey to relax back into her seat. Stacie stops glancing over, both of them intently staring out at the dark nighttime road, and they continue the last hour of the drive with just the music playing softly in the background.

 

* * *

 

Carrying her bag in one hand, Stacie frowns down at her phone as she closes the trunk.

“Ellie is bringing a friend tomorrow, so apparently they’re bunking in our old room. Which means you and I have to bed down together in the guest room. Is that okay? If not I can totally crash on the couch or something, it’s fine,” Stacie rambles as she guides Aubrey to the front door.

“I’m not going to make you sleep on the couch in your own home on Christmas, Stacie!” Aubrey whispers with all the force she can muster as they step into the dark house. “It’s fine, I just want to go to sleep so please lead the way.”

Stacie gives her a look to double check, sighs when Aubrey motions for her to move and turns the hall light on to the dimmest setting before guiding Aubrey to the room at the end of the hall.

“We’re at the furthest end of the house, not too near the other bedrooms,” Stacie says at a normal volume after closing the bedroom door behind them. “So don’t worry about disturbing anyone, and if you want to sleep in you’ll probably be able to without being disrupted. The bathroom is across the hall, I’ll show you in a minute. It’s the one everyone else uses the least but that’s no guarantee we won’t be sharing it,” Stacie grimaces, opens her mouth to continue the info dump but a large yawn overtakes her instead.

“Stacie,” Aubrey takes advantage of the yawn to halt her spiel. “It’s past midnight, we’ll figure it all out tomorrow. Just show me where I can brush my teeth before either of us fall asleep where we’re standing.”

Stacie nods, sheepish, and flits in and out of the room to check the bathroom while Aubrey digs in her suitcase for her toiletry bag. Stacie left the door open so she can find the bathroom without issue and she quickly freshens up from the car and takes care of her teeth. Returning to the bedroom, she finds that Stacie changed into pajamas while she was gone.

They swap places, Aubrey digging into her suitcase for pajamas while cursing that she didn’t pull them out before and change in the bathroom. She’s acquainted with Stacie’s nonchalance about being unclothed in front of others, gives the door nervous glances as she hears the water in the bathroom sink shut off and braces herself for Stacie to barge in as she fumbles with her shirt.

“All decent?”

Stacie’s question through the door and light knock is a surprise and Aubrey startles, feels a faint blush light up as she requests another moment. When she’s finished she pulls the door open, flashing Stacie a soft smile for her thoughtfulness.

Then the same thought occurs to them both, turning to face the bed as one.

“Do you have a side preference?” Aubrey asks and Stacie shakes her head as another yawn overtakes her. “I’ll take the left, then, if that’s okay,” Aubrey decides and Stacie nods tiredly, flips the switch for the overhead light so the room is bathed in only the dim glow of the lamp on the bedside table.

Just like that, all that’s left is for them to climb into bed.

Together.

Aubrey swallows, reminds herself that this is not nearly as intimidating as making the opening argument in a courtroom, and peels the bedcovers back.

Stacie settles in and as soon as Aubrey follows suit she reaches over, switching the lamp off. The carefully maintained distance between them takes on new life in the dark, cavernous and far too small all at once.

Only Stacie doesn’t seem to feel it.

“If you’re up before me in the morning, go ahead and wake me up,” Stacie mumbles and then immediately lapses into deep, even breathing.

Aubrey can’t quite believe she can fall asleep that fast, listens carefully for a few minutes before testing.

“Stacie?”

No reply to her whisper and she sighs, rolling over and then freezing when Stacie grunts at the jostling. Aubrey hears Stacie shift and has to stifle a giggle when Stacie starts snoring into her pillow a moment later.

As exhausted as she is, it’s still a battle to get to sleep. Her shoulder and arm start to hurt, but she’s reluctant to change position for fear of waking her bed partner. She’s angry that Stacie can fall asleep so easily, knows it’s irrational but stews in it anyway until she opens her eyes again and the clock somehow reads 5:52am.

Apparently she’d slept for five hours without even dreaming - but it’s not enough, doesn’t feel like it at all and the grumpiness from last night still lingers. She’s mad she’s awake, mad she can’t seem to get comfortable, but mostly she’s jealous of Stacie’s ability to sleep like the dead. She growls into her pillow, uses fluffing it as an excuse to give it a punch, and then goes limp in defeat.

“Aubrey?” Stacie suddenly rasps from beside her and Aubrey startles hard enough that the bed shakes. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Aubrey grumbles. She wants Stacie to accept that and go back to sleep. It’s too early to be up and she doesn’t want Stacie to bear the brunt of her bad mood again, but the blankets rustle as Stacie turns over to face her.

“Having trouble sleeping?”

She’s already sounding more alert and now Aubrey also feels guilty about waking her so early.

“Well, I’m not used to sleeping with all manner of strangers in my bed,” she snaps, then closes her eyes as the wave of regret immediately hits. When she opens them Stacie is still looking at her, hurt and confusion warring on her face. “I’m sorry,” Aubrey whispers contritely. “I didn’t mean that. You just seem to be around when the worst of my temper takes over.”

“I happen to be around, or I bring it out of you?” Stacie says wryly.

Aubrey’s mouth opens and closes, swallows hard and it sounds like thunder in the quiet room.

Stacie rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry,” she offers again for lack of any other reply.

“I had to redo my research,” Stacie offers a minute later.

Aubrey finally rolls fully onto her left side to face her, can just barely make out her face in the dark. “What?”

“My research. The original dataset was corrupt, and I didn’t catch it. I had to redo six weeks of work in the last four days because it needed to be in our grant proposal. I slept maybe six hours over the last four days.” Aubrey gets what Stacie is saying now, and it only increases the guilt rising in her core.

“Why didn’t you say anything? I could have driven and let you nap!” Aubrey protests, feels the bed jounce with Stacie’s shrug.

“So… any chance we can go back to sleep?” Stacie says, sidesteps the question and Aubrey doesn’t pursue it, focuses instead on how her eyes feel gritty from lack of sleep.

“I’d like to try,” Aubrey sighs. “I just have trouble settling in new places. You should definitely go back to sleep, though, I’ll be fine.”

Aubrey lies there stiffly for a few moments, practically holds her breath as she mentally urges Stacie to _go to sleep, go to sleep_.

“Oh my god, come here,” Stacie suddenly groans and Aubrey almost yelps.

“What?”

“You’re thinking so loud,” she grouses and Aubrey could almost cry at the added paranoia of her _thinking_ disturbing Stacie in addition to any movement or noise. “Come here,” Stacie repeats impatiently and suddenly she’s got ahold of Aubrey’s arm and tugs, scooting in as she does.

Next thing she knows she’s somehow surrounded by Stacie, long limbs holding her immobile and Aubrey freezes awkwardly as she realizes her head is laying just above Stacie’s — _chest_.

“Um,” she says into Stacie’s chin.

“Just trust me,” Stacie sighs. A limb unwraps from Aubrey’s waist - an arm, she gathers as she feels Stacie’s hand on her back.

No, just her fingers, Aubrey corrects herself a moment later. Stacie starts trailing her fingertips up and down Aubrey’s back, slow and light. It’s just enough pressure to not be tickling, feels _heavenly_ and Aubrey can’t help relaxing into it.

“Mhmm,” Stacie hums and Aubrey can hear the smile in it, doesn’t even try to muster a reaction as her eyes involuntarily slip closed.

When they wake up hours later, she’s not grumpy anymore.

 

* * *

 

“Good morning, sleepyheads!” A woman she can only assume to be Stacie’s mother teases them when they step out of the bedroom just after 10.

“Morning, mama,” Stacie grins, sighs happily when her mom pulls into a hug.

“Good morning, Mrs. Conrad,” Aubrey greets politely.

“Oh, no, none of that! It’s Christmas! It’s Rose, please, Aubrey.” To Aubrey’s surprise, she’s pulled into a hug just like Stacie was. She casts a startled look over Rose’s shoulder at Stacie and gets only a grin in return. Rose lets go and immediately starts putting together plates of breakfast for both of them, brushing off Aubrey’s protests. “I’m sorry I couldn’t wait up for you last night. How late did you get in? You still look exhausted,” she frowns at Stacie who shakes her head with a smile.

“Nah, we got in a bit after midnight so I had a nice long sleep. Last night went a long way in getting me caught back up,” Stacie stretches as she replies and Aubrey winces, hearing Stacie’s back crack from several feet away.

“Mmhmmm. Well, if I have to institute a naptime I will,” Rose threatens playfully, turns to Aubrey and explains with an eyeroll, “That one gets _grumpy_ when she hasn’t had enough sleep. The other three are the hangry type, but Stacie takes after me. When she was a toddler her screaming meltdowns would usually end with her falling asleep on the floor.” Aubrey doesn’t bother to repress her laugh and Stacie sighs, rolls her eyes, but doesn’t actually seem bothered by the anecdote being shared.

“What a record, one whole minute for the embarrassing childhood stories to start coming out,” Stacie quips, looking at her bare wrist as if checking a watch.

Rose ignores her and directs them both to the table in the dining nook, placing two loaded plates in front of them when they sit down.

“Oh. Wow,” Aubrey says softly. She doesn’t typically eat much in the morning but if her mother taught her anything, it’s that refusing food is incredibly rude. She swallows resolutely and picks up her fork like she’s going into battle, only pausing to look up when Stacie snorts.

“Mom always cooks the same amount of food no matter how many of us are here, so we just got loaded up with enough to feed us _and_ the twins. That includes the bottomless pit called Beau. Eat your fill, you’re going to need the fuel for later, but don’t be a hero,” Stacie winks.

“For later? What will we be doing, exactly?” Aubrey asks warily. The way Stacie’s grin grows in reply only makes her more apprehensive.

“Oh, honey,” she smirks. “Welcome to New Orleans.”

 

* * *

 

The answer is apparently combining a last-minute grocery trip and some “basic sightseeing,” as Stacie puts it, before the rest of the family arrives.

Aubrey scans the shopping list as Stacie pulls out a cart, laughs in baffled amusement.

“Um, what do you guys usually have for Christmas dinner?” she probes, and Stacie thinks it over as they walk into the store.

“Mmmm, it’s pretty traditional. Usually ham for the main course, green bean casserole,” Stacie starts listing off and Aubrey looks down at the list, more confused than before. “And I think this year we’re doing gumbo, plus of course potato salad, shrimp dressing, sweet potato pie, biscuits, all that sort of stuff. Ooooh, and the bread pudding dad makes for dessert is divine,” Stacie is practically salivating as she guides Aubrey into the first aisle.

“Sorry, you said _traditional?_ ” Aubrey says disbelievingly, and Stacie laughs as she looks over her shoulder at her.

“Around here, it is.”

“Well, at least this shopping list makes more sense then,” Aubrey mutters to herself as she trails a few steps behind.

“What do you guys normally have?” Stacie inquires.

“The traditional stuff,” Aubrey snorts and Stacie hip checks her with a snort. “Roast turkey, mashed potatoes, squash soup, rolls, pecan pie.”

“Ooooh, pecan pie! Did your mom teach you how to make it? Half of us would kill for it but every time we try to make it, something goes wrong,” Stacie shakes her head. “We could totally grab ingredients for it while we’re here!”

“Oh, no,” Aubrey demurs. “Mom didn’t actually cook. They have a cook, and he would make everything up a day or two before so he could have the actual holiday off.” Stacie eyes her, and Aubrey shrugs awkwardly. “What? My mom comes from old money,” she explains.

“Well, you make really good cookies at least,” Stacie finally offers and Aubrey laughs, then her eyes widen.

“I need to buy some baking ingredients!”

 

* * *

 

They make a stop on the way home for the sightseeing Stacie had mentioned. She’s nearly vibrating with excitement to show Aubrey whatever it is they’re approaching and had actually insisted on covering Aubrey’s eyes with her hands, walking behind her to guide the way.

Aubrey feels awkward walking down a public sidewalk like this, knows she’s starting to blush again and Stacie will probably be able to feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

But either she doesn’t, or she decides to take pity on Aubrey because the only thing she says is “ta da!” as she pulls her hands away with a flourish.

Aubrey blinks a few times as her eyes adjust to the return of sunlight, and then a few more times in shock as she catches sight of what Stacie has led her to.

“Stacie. That’s…”

“Yep,” Stacie says smugly.

The large sculpture is installed in the middle of a busy shopping district and the crowd of people walking by it without a second glance make Aubrey’s brain hurt.

“Okay, okay, you don’t have to look so self-righteous,” Aubrey says as she glances at Stacie, “I apologized days ago. I even said you were right, Stacie! Me!”

“Technically, you didn’t,” Stacie says primly.

“Oh my god, fine, you were right,” Aubrey laughs and Stacie grins in triumph. “Tell me about it?”

“Well first off, that’s Papa Noel, not Santa.” Stacie points to the familiar red-clad figure perched on top of a large boat, eight alligators harnessed to the front of it.

“Is it supposed to fly, or do the alligators pull the boat through the water?” Aubrey muses quietly, isn’t really asking but gets an answer anyway.

“The boat - a skiff, actually - and the gators fly, at least now. I think they started off coming by water but it mixed with the reindeer story a bit.” Stacie pauses, appraises the way Aubrey is earnestly taking in every inch of the display and continues with a smile. “The gators all have names, of course: Tiboy, Suzette, Rene, Ninette, Pierre, Alcee, Celeste, and Gaston. You can see Gaston has a magic green nose,” she points out each one in turn.

“More of the reindeer effect?”

“No, actually. Convergent evolution in this case. It’s often so foggy here that I guess they needed a fog light,” Stacie snorts and Aubrey starts to laugh, laughs harder when Stacie doesn’t realize she’s not laughing at the last comment but at her casual reference to evolution while explaining children’s Christmas stories.

“That’s fascinating,” Aubrey says in an awed voice when she’s back under control.

“One of our neighbors down the street always does a big theatrical reading of the traditional Papa Noel story for all the neighborhood kids on Christmas Eve, if you want to go to that later,” Stacie teases with an affectionate hip bump. Aubrey rolls her eyes and gives one last fascinated look at the art installation before checking her watch.

“Can I walk back to the car on my own?” she jokes and Stacie pretends to consider it for a moment, then loops her arm through Aubrey’s and starts leading them back to the car. She launches into a story of how terrified Ellie was of gators when they were growing up and the Christmas drama that ensued, grinning down at her and her other hand flying through the air as she talks. She’s backlit by the afternoon sun, turning her hair golden and for just a moment, Aubrey’s breath catches at the sight.

 

* * *

 

There are several more cars in the driveway when they pull up in front of the house and Stacie dramatically sighs in relief.

“Thank fuck,” she mutters as she climbs out of the car and heads straight to the door.

“Um, Stace, groceries?” Aubrey calls after her.

“Yeah, hold on.” Stacie opens the front door but doesn’t step in, just sticks her head in and bellows louder than Aubrey thought her capable of, even after vocal training her for a year.

“Guys! Groceries!” With that she turns around and heads back to the car, doesn’t react to Aubrey’s bewildered stare as she pops the trunk and seconds later, people start spilling out the front door.

“Sosie!” one of the girls calls as they all head straight for Stacie, hugging her one after the other and smacking a few kisses to her cheeks while Stacie laughs hellos.

“Oh, guys, this is my friend Aubrey,” Stacie casually introduces her when some of the commotion dies down. “Aubrey, this is Addie, Beau, Ellie, and Addie’s husband Chris,” she points to each of them in turn, the last figure just coming out of the door waving.

“Hi, Aubrey!” Ellie chirps, pulling Aubrey into a hug that she tries her best to relax into.

“Sorry, we’re huggers,” Stacie winks at Aubrey and then turns back to the car, rescues Aubrey by calling everyone’s attention back to the waiting groceries. Obviously well used to the routine, all of them take as many bags as they can carry into the kitchen where Rose is already putting things away. It only takes a couple of trips each before the trunk is empty and while everyone else scatters Aubrey offers to help Rose, who just waves her away.

Stacie is sitting at the table polishing an apple on her sleeve, so Aubrey perches next her to awkwardly, uneasy at not being allowed to help.

“Where’s dad?” Stacie inquires before crunching loudly into her snack.

“Oh, he procrastinated again this year. He’s off finishing the structure right now,” Rose laughs.

“I’m off to help him, actually,” Beau sticks his head into the kitchen. “Any other takers?” Aubrey stays silent, not sure what’s even being discussed, and Beau repeats himself in a shout. “Anyone want to go with me to help dad finish the teepee?”

Aubrey startles and winces at the volume, which Rose catches.

“Stop yelling in the house and go find them,” she scolds, swatting at Beau with a dishcloth before turning to Aubrey. “I’ve told them a million times but you’d think the lot of them were raised in a swamp,” she says fondly, cups Stacie’s cheek as she walks by.

“Um - a teepee?” Aubrey asks in a low voice.

“You’ll see,” Stacie grins and Aubrey groans, quickly becoming familiar with how much Stacie delights in maintaining an air of mystery.

“For a scientist you really hate explanations,” Aubrey grouses and Stacie snorts, her hand coming out to pat Aubrey’s head in a way she’d normally find condescending but in the moment is oddly sweet.

“Gee, Aubrey, do you align with the hangry Conrads after all? I had you pegged for a sleeper,” Stacie teases and Aubrey, a little embarrassed, admits she could use a little snack.

The afternoon passes quickly after that, Stacie turning on some Christmas music and helping Aubrey locate everything to mix up her cookies, although she turns out to be less than helpful with the actual baking.

“How can you be so confused by this, Stacie? It’s just chemistry!” Aubrey is mystified. While Aubrey bakes, Stacie opts to heap extra decorations all over the house, filling Aubrey in on her favorite family Christmas stories as she does.

Her love for the whole affair is clear in every word.

Aubrey finally meets Stacie’s dad, Gilbert, when the group returns just in time for dinner. The conversation is quick-moving as everyone scarfs down their food and she’s almost dizzy trying to follow it.

“Hurry and finish, we’re getting close to sunset!” Stacie urges and Aubrey does her best to comply, baffled about the directive but now knowing better than to ask for an explanation.

They only clear the dishes off the table, leaving the rest for later and gather up camp chairs, a cooler of drinks, blankets, and a box with what looks like assorted camping tools before setting off down the street as a group.

“Uh - are we, like, camping or something?” Aubrey is lost, starting to feel the rumble of anxiety in her stomach.

“Or something,” Stacie smiles. “It’ll be awesome, you’ll see. We’re almost there.”

“There” turns out to be a small road right along the Mississippi River. It’s dotted with potholes, obviously not well-maintained, but that is not what catches Aubrey’s eye.

It’s lined with massive wooden structures, most shaped like teepees, and _tall_. Most of them already have groups of people camped out next to them and the atmosphere is festive, people calling out greetings and small talk and passing out drinks. Anticipation is palpable in the air and it curls in her stomach as she helps set up the things they’d carried down.

“What _are_ these?” Her gaze is flitting around, unable to find one thing to focus on in all the chaos until she catches sight of Stacie next to her literally bouncing in excitement.

“Fire!” Stacie whoops. From at least 10 feet away Addie hears and jerks her head up, glares at her sister.

“No!” she points at Stacie accusingly. “No fire! It’s my turn this year!”

“Fire,” Stacie pouts dramatically, only able to hold it for a few seconds before she breaks into excited bouncing again. “Who has the timer? How much longer?” Ellie waves it in the air, announces it’s only a couple of minutes away and Stacie can’t contain her glee. She grabs Aubrey in a hug, then lifts her and spins around as she squeals. Aubrey gasps, feels her stomach swoop but for once the feeling is pleasant and she lets it carry her along, giggling into Stacie’s neck.

Stacie sets her back down but doesn’t let go, squeezes Aubrey tighter with a happy sigh.

“Come on, let’s go help,” she whispers in her ear.

“Are you allowed to? Are you trying to get me in trouble?” Aubrey asks doubtfully, and Stacie laughs.

“Let’s at least go stand closer,” Stacie’s arms drop and for a moment Aubrey misses them, until Stacie’s hand curls around hers, tugs her forward.

“Closer to _what?_ I still don’t know what’s happening here,” Aubrey reminds her, and Stacie gives her a unreadable look.

“Do you actually want me to tell you? Or would you rather wait a few minutes to find out in a much cooler way?” Stacie raises her eyebrows and that’s all it takes for Aubrey to give in with a sigh.

As dusk falls Addie sets the bottom of the teepee aflame, Aubrey gasping as the groups around them do the same. The flames climb up the 20-foot structure as the light quickly fades and in the near-dark, Aubrey sees a line massive bonfires stretching in each direction as far as she can see. Stacie sighs happily and they watch the fire grow without exchanging a word.

“Bonfires are lit along the Mississippi on Christmas Eve to guide Santa.” Stacie sounds like she’s reciting something ingrained in her memory, and when Aubrey turns to look at her a soft smile is playing on her lips, the flames reflecting in her eyes.

“Do you wanna walk it? We’re off watch duty this year,” Ellie is suddenly jumping onto Stacie’s back. Aubrey hadn’t noticed they were still holding hands until suddenly the encasing warmth is gone, Stacie’s hands both coming up to grab at Ellie’s knees and steady her.

Stacie looks at Aubrey, a wordless question, and at Aubrey’s emphatic nod Stacie grins, shifts her hand to tickle Ellie behind the knee.

“We’re in,” Stacie says as Ellie shrieks in laughter, lets her catch her breath before continuing the conversation. “What about Beau-Beau?”

Ellie doesn’t know and yells out for Beau - right in Stacie’s ear, causing her to wince and quickly remove Ellie from her back.

Beau opts to join them, he and Ellie disagreeing about which direction to walk in which they solve with a few rounds of rock, paper, scissors. Watching patiently, Aubrey smiles when she feels Stacie’s hand slip back into hers.

“Don’t want to lose each other in the dark,” Stacie rationalizes.

“No, we certainly don’t!” Ellie grins from Stacie’s other side and takes her left hand, swings it playfully. Beau does the same to her, teasing them about being afraid of gators the whole time.

Aubrey can’t tell if Stacie is blushing or if it’s just the fire’s glow lighting up her face.

“Hey, Ell Bell, wasn’t your friend supposed to come?” Stacie diverts the conversation, Ellie’s explanation of her friend cancelling last minute prompting Beau to comment on said friend’s many similar faux pas until they’re bickering again. Somehow, even their arguments are affectionate, Aubrey notes with a pang of jealousy she chooses to ignore.

There’s plenty of other things to focus on, after all.

“Stacie,” Aubrey whispers as she eyes the nearby water nervously. “Was Beau serious about the gator danger?”

They tour the bonfire path for awhile, and for the first time Aubrey realizes what a wonderful big sister Stacie is. After Christmas the twins are starting their last semester of undergrad, Ellie in math and Beau in psychology. Ellie reports that she’s in the beginning stages of recruitment with the FBI for a cryptology position, while Beau is busy studying for the GRE as he prepares for grad school. Stacie is serious about checking in with them, not shy about how proud she is of Ellie and offering advice and tales of her grad school woes to them both.

After a long walking tour - Aubrey’s feet are starting to hurt - they finally meet up with everyone else to head back to the house. Aubrey assumes they’re headed to bed as it’s well past 11, but instead everyone rowdily piles into the kitchen, Chris even briefly getting Beau into a headlock as they tussle.

“You’re going to run out of time for a snack!” Rose says pointedly, and everyone finally settles down enough to start shoveling food into their mouths, most going for a second serving of the jambalaya from dinner.

“Is the ability to eat that fast a genetic trait?” Aubrey mutters, Stacie’s bark of laughter drawing the attention she was trying to avoid. She hunches in a bit until she feels the others turn back to their conversations.

“Here, take this,” Stacie hands Aubrey the sandwich she’d just finished making, Aubrey looking down at it and then back up at Stacie in question. “It’s a PB&J. That way you can eat it on the way,” she explains, already making a second one for herself. She doesn’t draw attention to Aubrey’s inability - or unwillingness - to bolt her food and she feels something loosen in her chest with the display of Stacie’s perceptive kindness.

It turns out the next thing on the itinerary is midnight mass, the church even closer than the river so she does indeed finish her sandwich as they walk, enjoying the night air and the hum of quiet conversation around her. Aubrey hasn’t been to mass in years, but the routine and familiar ambience are soothing and she’s unusually relaxed as they leave the church.

That is, until a rustle in the tall grass next to her makes her heart jump into her chest, her limbs feeling too slow in their reaction as she leaps away from whatever is making the sound. Stacie dissolves into laughter when a raccoon pops its head up quizzically and Aubrey turns scarlet as everyone turns back to look at them, infinitely grateful they were bringing up the rear and no one but Stacie witnessed her freak out.

“Are you still worrying about gators?” Stacie chortles, and Aubrey puts up a front of being offended although her heart is still pounding.

“It’s a reasonable fear!” she defends, which does nothing to stop Stacie’s laughter.

“Okay, tiny dancer, climb on,” Stacie teases, turns her back to Aubrey and crouches.

“Um, what?”

“I’ll get you out of the danger zone with my, what do you call them? _‘Freakishly long legs’_ , right?”

Aubrey considers refusing, but she’s exhausted and her feet are sore and, she admits only to herself, she is getting more and more paranoid about the gators Beau warned about.

So instead, she climbs on, graceless as piggy back rides inevitably are. Stacie grabs her thighs to hoist her up, hands landing just below the hem of her dress and Aubrey shivers as she feels Stacie’s warm fingers on her bare skin.

“You cold?” Stacie asks softly.

“I’m tired,” she whimpers, resting her head on Stacie’s shoulder with a heavy sigh and going limp. She starts to slide a little and Stacie bounces lightly to get a better grip on her thighs and Aubrey hums contentedly into her neck.

“Oh.” Stacie pauses. “Bad news, we usually do stockings after mass.”

“Well I’ll go to bed while you guys do that, then,” she mumbles into Stacie’s neck.

“What? No, you have to open yours too!” Stacie protests. “We were able to make it through all of this when we were in elementary school,” she teases, knows Aubrey can’t back down from what is obviously a challenge.

“I have a stocking?”

“Of course you do!” Stacie actually sounds offended at the implication otherwise and Aubrey is quiet as she takes that in.

“Wait, you stayed up this late as an 8-year-old?!” Aubrey processes. “Wow, you must have been an absolute bear every Christmas,” she teases, bobs up and down with Stacie’s shrug.

“We’re old enough that we all sleep in now, at least.”

  
“Oh thank _god_ ,” Aubrey groans as Stacie sets her down on the front stoop. Their laughter follows them into the house.

The stockings are just small things, mostly candy but a few fun things like lottery scratch tickets and a travel sudoku book which she’s absolutely going to use on the drive back to Georgia.

As the clock creeps past 1:30 on Christmas morning, they finally, finally get into bed. Aubrey doesn’t think twice about crawling directly into Stacie’s arms and as soon as she buries her face in Stacie’s neck, she is asleep.

 

* * *

 

After the insanity that was Christmas Eve, Aubrey is relieved to find that Christmas day is much more low-key. They get up around 10 again, the rest of the house also just starting to stir.

The pile of presents under the tree is actually smaller than Aubrey would expect, given the sheer number of people crammed into the house so she’s even more surprised to find that several of the presents are actually for her.

They’re directed to start with matching presents containing pajamas, which is apparently of no surprise to anyone but Aubrey.

“It’s tradition,” Stacie tells her before she’s distracted by the knowledge that her new pair has glow-in-the-dark stars and immediately darts off to change into them; Aubrey can’t find it anything but endearing.

Stacie returns in them with a brilliant smile on her face, hair loose and wavy over her shoulders and the way Aubrey’s heart pangs at the sight is not at all the way it usually aches on Christmas.

Rose fussing over her distracts Aubrey, as she makes sure the pajamas are the right size and Aubrey offers effusive thanks for the effort put forth to include her so last-minute in their family celebration.

“Oh, it was nothing. You’re family now,” Rose dismisses.

Aubrey blinks and then excuses herself to the bathroom, splashes some water on her face and hisses at her reflection in the mirror to get herself under control.

“You okay, Aubrey?” Stacie taps on the door and Aubrey takes a deep breath, swings it open and smiles at her.

“I’m great.”

“Cool. You’ve still got to finish opening presents.” Stacie leads her back to the living room and hands her another neatly wrapped package when they sit. “This one’s from me.”

Aubrey finally lets go of her carefully trained inhibitions and tears into the present the way the others have been doing, lets out a quiet sound when she catches sight of what’s inside.

“You mentioned a couple of months ago that you lost your favorite book while moving,” Stacie’s explanation is deliberately casual. “We always get a book too, so it worked out.” She pats the book she must have just unwrapped herself, Aubrey snorting at the title before she can stop herself.

“Wow, _Lost in Math: How Beauty Leads Physics Astray_? Nerd,” she teases.

“You’re tearing up over _The Divine Comedy_ so I’m not sure you’ve got much room here,” Stacie points out and Aubrey is surprised to realize that she’s right, furtively wipes at her eyes.

“I’ve got something for you too,” she says, locating the box and handing it over for Stacie to tear into it gleefully.

“No way!” Stacie squeals.

“What is it?” Ellie noses her way in, which doesn’t tone down Stacie’s excitement at all.

“It’s a lego set for Yoda’s Starfighter! Oh my god, it has Yoda and R2 figures too,” she breathes. “Thank you, Bree! I love it!” She stops jumping up and down long enough to lean in and give Aubrey a kiss on the cheek.

“I remembered how much you liked him when you made us do that Star Wars marathon for movie night in October.”

Aubrey knows she’s bright red and doesn’t bother trying to hide it, distracted by the tingling on her cheek where Stacie’s lips had landed.

The rest of the day is the kind of Christmas Aubrey thought only existed in books or movies. A fire is started in the fireplace despite the fact that it’s 60 degrees outside, and they play game after game of Beau’s brand new Scrabble in front of it. They’re all taking turns popping in and out of the kitchen to help prepare parts of Christmas dinner and when Addie returns from her task and wants to join in the latest game, Aubrey and Stacie end up teaming up and beating everyone else handily.

“It’s that lawyer vocabulary,” Stacie brags and Aubrey blushes, clears her throat and offers the room more cookies.

 

* * *

 

As they wait for the last parts of dinner to finish cooking they curl up together on the loveseat, Stacie with her new book though Aubrey opts for her phone instead. Stacie is pulled in immediately, thoroughly absorbed in the material until her mom shouting that dinner is ready pulls her attention.

“Aubrey?” As she gets up to head to the table Stacie realizes Aubrey is no longer on the couch and goes to look for her. Predictably, she checks the bedroom first and finds Aubrey sitting on the bed, staring into space with glassy eyes. She’s unblinking, strangely still and Stacie is more than a little concerned. “Bree?”

Aubrey looks up at her and Stacie bites her lip, considering.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Aubrey’s words are terse and it only makes Stacie more concerned, but whatever is going on has her closed off tighter than Fort Knox and Stacie knows she’s not going to get anywhere right now.

“I came to get you, dinner’s ready,” she says softly.

Aubrey follows her out to the dining room and she ends up across the table from Stacie, which she considers protesting for a brief moment but knows Aubrey wouldn’t be happy with the fuss. She lets it go, sits down promising herself she’ll keep a careful eye out instead.

An eye is really all it turns out to be, because Aubrey is near-wordless through dinner. She pushes her food around on her plate, does a good job making it seem like she’s eating - probably as to not be questioned by Rose - but Stacie notices how little of it actually makes it to her mouth.

After dinner she declines the games they start setting up, retreating again to the bedroom and Stacie frowns after her, torn about whether giving her space is the right action.

“Is she okay?” Ellie whispers to Stacie as she stares down the hallway after Aubrey.

“She’s… not exactly used to having an actual family Christmas,” Stacie smiles a little, uneasy and sad all at once, and Ellie nods in understanding.

“It seemed like it was doing her some good earlier, though. I could almost swear she turned into a different person over the last day.” Ellie pauses, gives Stacie an intense look. “And I could tell it was making you happier, too. Getting her to enjoy the holiday.”

Stacie doesn’t respond, just opens the box of the Pandemic: Legacy game they’ve been slowly working through for the last year and a half and starts setting up the board.

When she’s ready to start preparing for bed a couple of hours later, she stops at the door and bites her lip, tapping gently at the wood with her knuckle.

“Aubrey?” she asks the door. “I need to get ready for bed, may I come in?”

“It’s your room too, you don’t need to ask,” Aubrey snaps and Stacie holds her hands up as she comes in.

“Whoa, okay,” Stacie responds. “Just wanted to make sure you weren’t getting changed or anything.”

Aubrey sniffs, keeps looking at her book but Stacie can see that she’s only pretending to be reading, her eyes not moving.

Stacie is ready to sleep quickly, already being in her pajamas, and she hesitates before she climbs into bed.

“Aubrey? Are you ready to go to sleep or would you like to keep reading?” Stacie is trying to be gentle, soothing, but it doesn’t seem to have any effect.

“I wouldn’t want to put you out.” Aubrey snaps her book shut forcefully and places it on the bedside table before returning to laying on her back, staring stiffly up at the ceiling.

Stacie sighs, bites her tongue and turns off the lamp before climbing into bed.

She mirrors Aubrey’s position and they lay there in silence, the dark heavy and the barely audible sound of the ticking clock seemingly growing louder and louder.

Finally, Stacie breaks, all hopes and plans of giving Aubrey space to work through whatever has her in a tizzy flying out the window.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” she asks abruptly.

“I’m fine,” Aubrey all but snarls back at her.

“Well you’re obviously not, because that’s the only thing you’ve said for the last 6 hours. Do you want to go home? This was too much, wasn’t it? We can leave first thing in the morning.”

“Oh my god, Stacie. Leave it alone.” Aubrey rolls over, facing away from her.

Stacie growls.

She sits up, flicks the light on and glares at Aubrey’s back until she lets out a very put-upon sigh and rolls back over to meet Stacie’s eyes.

“What? What do you want? Everything is _fine_ , Stacie. Nobody did anything. Why can’t you just let it go?” Aubrey’s tone is cold and it only makes Stacie’s temper flare to meet the ice.

“Well, there better be a reason you’ve been glowering like a storm cloud for half the day, Aubrey! Otherwise you’ve put a damper on Christmas for no reason!”

“Sorry to ruin your perfect Christmas,” Aubrey throws back. “Some of us aren’t absurdly in love with the holiday because we don’t have picture-perfect families to spend it with, so you’ll have to excuse me being such a wet blanket!”

“You think this was perfect?” Stacie gapes.

Snaps her jaw shut.

Takes several deep breaths, until she feels under control again. She must be perfectly composed, knows if she lets this facade crack her temper will take control again and the consequences will be severe.

“Nothing about this was perfect, Aubrey.” She keeps breathing, the flash of anger slowly receding and Aubrey lays quietly, waiting for her to continue. “I don’t even like Christmas that much,” she says softly.

This time, Aubrey sits up.

“What?” she scoffs. “I’ve _seen_ you, Stacie. You cannot deny how much you were into every little piece of it.”

“My grandmother died last year.”

Aubrey must think it a non-sequitur, turning her head to look at Stacie strangely.

“Just after Christmas,” Stacie elaborates “We all spent last Christmas in the hospital with her. God, she hated it.” Stacie shakes her head at the memory.

“I’m sorry, Stacie,” Aubrey’s voice is quiet, the burst of anger burnt out on both sides.

“She loved Christmas. So much,” Stacie lays back down and curls to her side to face Aubrey as she does the same. “Way more than I did. But she managed to ingrain all her favorite stories and traditions into us all the same.” She lets out a watery laugh and Aubrey’s hand creeps towards her, just enough for Stacie to know what she’s offering.

She reaches between them, catches Aubrey’s hand and holds it tightly as a tether as she starts to sob.

“So how can I let her favorite holiday go by and not celebrate all her favorite parts? Now that she doesn’t get to do that, share it with other people? I have to do it for her.”

  
Aubrey pulls her closer, shushing gently as she soothingly runs her fingers through Stacie’s hair. She waits patiently until Stacie cries herself out in her arms, not moving or saying anything else until Stacie does.

“‘m sorry,” Stacie sniffles, feeling a little awkward in her vulnerability.

Aubrey smiles softly, kisses Stacie’s forehead and then slides back, climbing off the bed.

“Where—” Stacie starts, a little alarmed at Aubrey’s departure but calms when she realizes Aubrey’s just gotten up to fetch the box of tissues. Which, judging by the snot she can feel dripping from her nose, she definitely needs.

  
Attractive.

“Thanks,” she sniffles as Aubrey hand her a tissue and helps her sit up. She cleans herself up and gets up to toss the tissue before they both climb back into bed. Stacie glances at Aubrey, gets her silent okay before switching the lamp off again and plunging them back into darkness.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put any of that on you,” Stacie says.

Aubrey’s hand fumbles around until it finds hers, gives it a little squeeze.

“It’s fine. Are you okay now?” she asks.

“Yeah, thanks.” Stacie pauses. “You’re not, though.”

“What?” Aubrey sounds a little amused and Stacie realizes how that could sound vaguely threatening, lets out a little laugh of her own.

“I mean, you weren’t, at least. And I still don’t know why but I’m guessing it hasn’t gone away.” Stacie can’t see her, but she can _feel_ Aubrey immediately sobering at her words.

“Can I—” Aubrey tugs at her questioningly and Stacie obliges, dropping Aubrey’s hand and lifting her arm in invitation. Aubrey quickly scoots into her side, curls into her and rests her head on Stacie’s chest.

  
Stacie wraps her arm around Aubrey, anchoring her, and then repeats herself.

“What happened, Aubrey?”

“It’s nothing, really,” Aubrey lets out an obviously fake laugh.

Stacie pokes her side in rebuke, not wanting her to downplay what has been obviously upsetting her for hours just because Stacie had her own breakdown.

“I opened Facebook earlier,” she sighs in defeat.

“Um, okay?” Stacie says, racking her brain for what in the world could have set Aubrey off.

“My sister-in-law, Hayes’ wife, she posted a picture today.”

  
Stacie freezes, immediately knows to dread what’s about to come out of Aubrey’s mouth.

“Apparently they’re having a baby?” Aubrey falters, trying to sound excited but failing miserably.

“Oh, Bree. And you didn’t know.” It’s a statement, not a question, but Aubrey nods anyway.

“And she wrote — she wrote that they’re adding a fifth family member,” Aubrey sniffles and Stacie’s heart breaks breaks for her.

“Oh, no,” Stacie murmurs into Aubrey’s hair. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.”

Now Aubrey is the one sobbing into Stacie’s chest, although thankfully the tissues are still nearby and Stacie reaches over, snags one for Aubrey. She rocks them side to side, just a little, while she waits for Aubrey’s cries to slow.

“I don’t understand,” Stacie finally says, shakes her head.

“Me either,” Aubrey says in a small voice.

Stacie makes a choked sound, involuntarily, her arms tightening around Aubrey.

“I just — how could they possibly justify this to themselves? You couldn’t do anything that would ever excuse this behavior,” she seethes.

“I’m not sure they’ve ever tried,” Aubrey muses.

Stacie finds Aubrey’s restored calm a little concerning but doesn’t interrupt, wanting to let her get it out.

“It’s just — it’s always been this way. They never had to think about a change in their behavior, or really their behavior at all,” Aubrey explains.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean — I was born 8 years after Hayes, Stacie. I’ve never gotten an answer on whether I was an accident or not, but either way? By the time I came along dad had already gotten the son he wanted and was well on his way to grooming Hayes to be his perfect heir.” For the first time, bitterness is bleeding into Aubrey’s voice. “Don’t get me wrong, mom was around, but dad never had much attention to spare for me. And that filtered through to Hayes, too. We’ve never really had a sibling relationship — not like you guys do, at least.”

“So it’s not about you, being—?” Stacie starts, feels Aubrey shake her head again.

“No. Mom’s fine with it, has always said Hayes will give her grandkids,” Aubrey’s voice breaks and Stacie rubs her back soothingly as she continues. “But dad has never mentioned it. I’m honestly not sure if he doesn’t know I’m gay, or if he’s just not acknowledging it.” She pauses, continues in a small, heartbroken voice. “Nothing I do has ever been good enough to earn his attention.”

“That’s because you’re not trying to earn his attention, Aubrey. You’re trying to earn his love.” She stops rubbing Aubrey’s back, pulls her in as tightly as she can and wraps around her like she can protect Aubrey from this truth. “And that’s something a child should never have to do, earn their parent’s love. There’s something wrong with him, not with you.”

She’d expected Aubrey to start crying again, but instead she’s quiet, only the rhythmic sound of breathing following the words.

Stacie waits for them to sink in, and finally Aubrey speaks, but it’s not what she expected.

“Your mom said—earlier, she said something. About me being part of the family now.”

“Sounds like something she’d say.”

“But why? That’s more… more love than my actual family gives me.” Aubrey just sounds confused. Confused and hurt.

“Because it’s true,” Stacie simply says. “Because everyone deserves to be loved. Even when they lash out because they’re upset about something instead of talking about it like a sane person,” she teases, adding some levity back into the conversation.

It works, Aubrey’s thick laugh prompting Stacie to hand over another tissue.

“But you especially deserve to be loved, Bree. Look at everything you’ve accomplished; you’re a big-shot lawyer! And yet you still visit the new Bellas all the time even though you don’t know them, just so you can offer help and support. You’re kind of scary good at everything you do, but you’re also a _good_ person.”

The words settle in the silence and Stacie lets them, feels Aubrey settling against her the same way. Her face is buried in Stacie’s neck again and the rhythmic puffs of her breathing is soothing, starts lulling her to sleep.

“Hey, Stace?” Aubrey finally says.

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas.”

Stacie smiles and kisses the top of her head.

“Merry Christmas.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning they’re up a little later than the rest of the house due to their late-night talk. Aubrey’s particularly slow to wake up and Stacie guides her into the kitchen, trying to stifle her laughter, and sets about procuring coffee for both of them after seating Aubrey at the table.

When she looks over, Aubrey’s folded her arms on the table, using them to pillow her head and Stacie’s honestly not sure if she’s fallen back asleep or not.

“Aubrey,” she sing-songs lightly as she holds the mug out.

“Coffee?” Aubrey mumbles as she lifts her head up and when she sees what Stacie is handing her she flashes a bleary smile. “Coffee.”

Stacie doesn’t suppress the laughter this time, kisses the side of Aubrey’s head and retreats back to start poking around the fridge for breakfast leftovers.

“Jesus!” She jumps when Ellie suddenly materializes next to her, sporting a unsettling smile on her face.

“Seems like you guys got everything figured out? All better this morning?”

“God, you’re so _nosy_ ,” Stacie mutters, following it up with a wink and a smile. “We talked it out. Now I just need to feed her before she gets hangry.”

“Oh! Mom left you guys pancakes in the microwave.” Ellie pulls it open and Stacie groans.

“Bless you, Ell Bell.”

“Mhmmm.” Ellie giggles mysteriously as she walks away, Stacie narrowing her eyes as she watches her go — little siblings are never to be trusted.

The coffee starts kicking in and the addition of pancakes does the job to finish waking Aubrey up. After breakfast, they return to hanging out with Stacie’s family. Addie talks them and the twins into playing Ticket to Ride, which they find out Stacie and Aubrey get _way_ too competitive over and are barred from playing against each other ever again.

Surprisingly, Monopoly goes much more smoothly.

Finally it’s time for them to, very reluctantly, start packing up and getting ready to hit the road. They gather their things from the living room and bathroom, beating a path to their suitcases in the bedroom.

“Oh, no,” Stacie says, looking out into the hallway from where she’s seated on the floor packing her suitcase. “She didn’t.”

“What?”

“Aurelie Conrad!” Stacie shouts, mouthing an apology at Aubrey when it makes her jump.

The only response is muted laughter from elsewhere in the house. Stacie groans.

“It appears Ellie has been scheming,” Stacie finally says, reluctant to explain to Aubrey what she’s spotted hanging in the hallway.

So of course, Aubrey gets up and looks for herself.

She blinks.

Stacie holds her breath.

“Is that… mistletoe?”

“Ellie,” Stacie explains again.

“Oh,” Aubrey says. Then quiet.

Finally, Stacie has to break it.

“It doesn’t sound like they’re out in the living room. We can just walk under it, they’re not going to — can’t — do anything about it,” Stacie reasons. “Ellie’s just being weird, as usual.”

Aubrey finally looks down at Stacie, and she has an unusual gleam in her eye.

“Or…”

“Or?” Stacie prompts.

“Or we could not,” Aubrey finally says, taking Stacie by the hand and tugging her out into the hallway.

“Hold on,” Stacie whispers, pulling away from Aubrey for a second to peek around the corner and make sure no one is hidden away to spy on the trap they’d set up. “I think we’re all clear,” she reports and Aubrey, laughing, tugs her back in and suddenly, they’re kissing.

They’re _kissing_.

It moves away from being chaste very quickly; Aubrey’s hand slides into Stacie’s hair, tilting her head and that’s all it takes for the kiss to turn deep, almost dirty, Stacie moaning into her mouth and hands grasping Aubrey’s hips to keep her as close as possible.

“Wow,” Aubrey whispers once they finally pull away, panting.

Stacie licks her lips, still staring at Aubrey’s while trying to get her breathing under control before responding.

“Wow is right,” another voice suddenly pipes in and Stacie jumps, whirling around accusingly.

“You!” She glares at Ellie. “I’ll get you back for this!”

“For what, giving you the best day of your _life_?” Ellie teases.

Stacie stops, considers the words as Aubrey blushes bright red, burying her face in Stacie’s shoulder.

“Good.” Ellie claps her hands together, apparently satisfied. She turns to walk away, throwing one last bit of wisdom over her shoulder as she goes.

“You dorks are going to have to walk under that again to actually bring your stuff out to the car, you know.”

**Author's Note:**

> everyone say thank you to [aserenitatum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aserenitatum/pseuds/aserenitatum) for serving as beta and convincing me to write for the first time in nine months! 
> 
> and yes, the idea was definitely inspired by [this!](http://gohandinhand.tumblr.com/post/180880818449)
> 
> I can't really say "comments make me write" because... no promises, but it doesn't hurt to try. ;)


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